Last night, some of my Shipmates and I went to a Gentleman's Club. A bunch of officers were there, too.

A Lieutenant there wanted to impress the rest of us, so he pulled out a $10 bill. When the dancer came over to us, the Lieutenant licked the $10 bill and stuck it to her butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, a Commander pulls out a $20 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to her other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, the Captain pulls out a $50 bill and calls the girl over, and licks the bill.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately he just stuck it to one of her butt cheeks, again.

My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the girl gyrates over to me!
Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the girl's egging me on to try to top the $50.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?

Then the Chief in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her butt, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went to the bar.